It has been a tough week for me. I’m emotional, stressed and our whole family was fighting the dreaded “back to school” cold that tends to work its way through everyone this time of year.
After celebrating our daughter Autumn’s 1st birthday last week, I thought things would settle down, but between daily mom life, weaning her and saying goodbye to the “baby” years, transitioning back into a work “routine”, and the added last-minute stress of looking for a new dayhome for my girls to attend, I found my days more overwhelming than ever.
I told a friend that it feels like I have thrown about 11 balls into the air and know that I can only catch 4 of them, so I have to decide which priorities are going to drop.
Enter this week’s coaching video and self-care tool: learning to say “no”.
As a type “A” personality and self-titled Achievement Addict, I find it very difficult to disappoint people. In fact, I wrote an entire book on boundaries because I suck at them and need to constantly reference this spiritual guidebook and its tools to remind me of the importance of self-care.
Since transitioning back to work, I sort of forgot to set up my boundaries and felt myself slipping into a fear-based, ego-driven space of prioritizing colleagues & clients and their needs over my own needs and those of my kids and other family & friends.
The fear of not doing enough or offering enough, or of offering the “wrong” things (as if that can be done), started to eat away at my confidence and had me creating from a place of stagnant, limited energy. I wasn’t giving my best in any area of my life and my body responded, forcing me to slow down and take a look at what my true priorities are.
I’m currently reading the book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson and I highly recommend it. In the book, Mark writes about the inevitability of challenges and struggle in our life. We all face struggle and it is up to us to decided what we want to struggle FOR. What challenges are you willing to face to make your dreams reality? If you aren’t willing to let go of limiting thoughts, limiting people, old habits, or maybe even an extreme dream that no longer resonates, then do you honestly think you will ever be truly happy?
He stresses the importance of good values leading us – of how priorities like being rich and famous are shallow and often lead to discontent. Instead, values like honesty, family, and the acknowledgment that not all of us are meant to live extraordinary lives can offer a much more fulfilling journey.
As I’ve spent time meditating and reflecting this week on the struggles I’m facing and what I want to be struggling for, the clarity around who I want to work with and what my priorities are has finally come to the surface.
I dream of being a motivational speaker someday and of teaching motivated, spiritual women like myself to find fulfillment and cause for celebration in each day. To understand that letting go of comparison and your own self-doubts is the key to enjoying this insanely-worthwhile struggle we call life.
As this clarity came, I found myself taking action: cutting back my Youtube videos, signing up for a “Booked & Paid to Speak” online course with a teacher I’ve been following forever but only now had the guts to work with, and getting crystal clear on my audience and the messaging I want to share in this blog, on my social media/videos, and in my future speaking career.
And it was amazing how the Universe let me know I was on the right track – quotes about true fulfillment popped up, cards about courageous leaps, and this – my favourite synchronistic message from @catandnat (two amazing moms who are authentic as can be) that I cut out of a magazine they were featured in and then saw it again on their Instagram: “Part of this journey has been about pushing ourselves to just be ourselves without feeling badly about it. See the thing is, sometimes the biggest chance you need to take is the one on yourself.”
So how can you take a chance on you?
What are some of your dreams that you know are worth struggling for?
What do you need to let go of in order to make room for the small action steps to make those dreams reality?
And what are you waiting for?
Who is limiting you? Who is getting in your head?
Can we just agree that those who truly love and support us aren’t going anywhere?
And maybe, by embracing (and celebrating) who we are meant to be as unique, one-of-a-kind leaders, we will attract the exact people we need to make those dreams and those struggles that much easier and fulfilling.
I know I’m ready to give it a shot.
Are you with me?
Light and love, and lots of courage,
Affirmations to help you feel supported, seen and heard:
“I am loved and supported by the Divine.”
“Angels surround me with encouragement and guidance always.”
“I release fear and take a chance on myself.”
“Those who love me want the best for me.”
“The love and respect I have for myself matters most.”
“I radiate confidence in my own talents everywhere I go.”